Ray and Joy (Part 3)

RAY :

During my exile to a very conservative country (Saudi), I missed not only my family but also my barkadas. I could not help wishing to be out with them again.

One night, I was tempted to go out with my barkadas without Joy's knowledge. She was asleep when I went out of the house to join the boys in a night out around Digos. When Joy noticed my absence later that night, she started looking for me. Her search and rescue mission began at the hospital, then at the Rizal Park and then along Rizal Avenue. At about 2 a.m., she found her lost husband together with his barkadas in the company of low-flying doves at a certain nitespot.

From that moment, the encounter between Lapulapu and Dagohoy broke the stillness of the early morning hours. It was a very unforgettable moment of my life, which from the perspective of the present time, appeared ridiculous and even scandalous. We went home shouting and scratching at each other. This incident almost led to the break up of our marriage. I could not understand why this happened to me when in fact I love Joy very much. In Romans 7:18-19, it says and I quote, "I know that no good dwells in me, that is in my flesh, the desire to do right is there but not the power. What happens is that I do, not the good I will do but the evil I do not intend," end of quote.

In the midst of our troubled relationship, God sent His angels through Brod Ernie and Sis Flor Bartolome. They invited us to join the CLP for the Couples for Christ in the summer of 1996. It was a very timely invitation. Eager as we were to patch up the crisis in our married life, we did not refuse their invitation to join the CLP. We had our baptism of the Holy Spirit at Padada and became full pledged members of CFC. We were comfortable with our evangelization services in the CFC.

When Joy was conceiving with our second child, a baby boy, whom we named Jayson Francis, I was serving our CFC mission area in Kapatagan. It was at this time that I was again tempted by Satan to backslide to my usual vices. But since I already belonged to a community, many brothers and sisters in CFC, in their concern preserve the sanctity of our marriage and did not allow things to go out of hand again. Truly, if God is with us, who can be against us? In the face of these threats to the solidarity of our family, Joy and I doubled our time and effort for God. We dedicated ourselves, our time, talents and treasures to Him. We attended a Marriage Enrichment Retreat, Power Weekends and conferences designed to heal our brokenness. "Solo Dios Basta" - God is Enough and we received the blessings of peace in our hearts.

JOY :

But life is a series of problems. Jesus warned us that we would have problems in the world. In John 16:33, it says and I quote "I have told you this so that you will have peace by being united with me. The world will make you suffer. But, be brave! I have defeated the world," end of quote.

In September 2001, I had a goiter operation. The biopsy revealed that I had a papillary carcinoma or Thyroid cancer. Ray chose not to break the sad news to me fearing that I may not be able to take it. After seeking for second opinion from other doctors, Ray sought help of my two doctor-friends to help him break the news to me. I cried hard and said, Who's gonna take care of my ailing parents and most of all who will take care of our one year old son Jayson Francis and our daughter Cindy.

I submitted myself for further consultation at the Davao Doctors Hospital and happily my doctor told me that mine was a friendly cancer … it is treatable. After the check up, I had my second surgery for complete removal of my thyroid gland and after a month, I had my radiation treatment. I was confined in the major isolation room at the Davao Doctors Hospital for four days. After my discharge, I stayed at our residence in Padada and continued with my one month isolation until December 24, in time to celebrate Christmas with my family.

The preparation for radiation and total body scan is so tedious. I suffered loss of memory, loss of reflexes and depression. I prayed to God for strength and endurance. True indeed, he comforted me and gave me strength. My friends and relatives, seeing me as a cancer victim are surprised because my appearance did not show at all. I attributed this to the goodness of the Lord. In Lamentations 3:22-23, it says and I quote "The steadfast of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is the faithfulness," end of quote.

But God works in mysterious ways. After being diagnosed to be negative in 2003, the recurrence was detected the following year. There was still a minimal thyroid activity found in my neck. Once again, I underwent radiation and was isolated for two weeks.

In 2005, I had to undergo a follow-up check - a total body scan. But, we had a problem because the Davao Doctors Hospital refused to accept our office health care and we did not have the cash for the procedure. There is no other hospital in Davao with the facility for doing the scan. So, we have to look for funds. Just when we felt so burdened with lack of funds, my brother called to inform us that he was sending money to cover for my body scan and other minor expenses. God's generosity can never be outdone. God also sent angels in the person of a BCBP couple who assisted as financially during these trying times.

So, I went ahead with the procedure. This time, I requested for prayers from the BCBP community. I asked the intercessory group to bombard heavens with prayers for a negative result. Praise God, I was declared negative in August 5, 2005. I was healed … a new life for me ! ! !

RAY :

In year 2003, we were then again invited my Bro. Macy Directo and his wife Prime Directo for a breakfast of BCBP. Despite our busy schedule, we could not say no because it was God inviting us. In due time, we found ourselves regular members of the BCBP community. After a year of my membership in the BCBP, my father was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer and was given 3 months to live. I could not bear the thought of losing him at that time when our father-son relationship was going on very smoothly. I prayed to God for his recovery and healing but it seemed God had other plans for him. He died at the age of 65. I was not even around when he died. I was in Cebu attending to another horrible event. The death of my younger sister, Ann.

My sister was supposed to be in Cebu City for a business conference on Lifestyles Networking when she was reported missing. After 3 days of searching, her decaying body was discovered at the seashore of Sibonga, the very place where she was born. The medico legal and NBI-Cebu (National Bureau of Investigation) reported that my sister died 3 days before she was retrieved by the Police authorities without finding the cause of death. There were so many versions, but all remained hearsays because of the absence of substantial evidences. Our whole family was puzzled and suffered pain of the tragedy. I began murmuring and questioned, Why Lord? I renewed my life already and I served You with these two communities, the BCBP and CFC. Much more when I lost my job at DIMAVEMCI due to management conflict where Papa was the Chairman. I felt the world was turning me upside down.

However, as I reflected on the blessings versus the misfortunes; I was ashamed and felt guilty of my God. I was blessed with perfect partner in life, my Joy, my children, our business, our mango farm, our own dwelling and mobility. The opportunity to serve as a public servant in the barangay, my brothers and sisters in the community are more than just a blessing to me. As I remember all these things, I began to cry and ask forgiveness to Him and shout to the whole world I LOVE YOU LORD, YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME! After I flashed back the scenes in my life, only one set of footprints during my saddest moments, while walking with the Lord. I thought God left me alone, but it was then that He carried me.

The hunger and thirst of parental love that I felt during my childhood days has now turn into hunger and thirst for service to my God. Praise God!

God has a purpose behind our problem. He uses circumstances to develop our character. The tragedies that we experienced are God's ways of letting us realize that no one is immune to pain or isolated from suffering and no one gets through life problem free. Problems is an opportunity for us to look for Him and depend on Him instead of ourselves. But our God is a good God. He does not give us problem far beyond our capacity to cope because he knows our limitations.

Brothers and Sisters, let me end my sharing with a passage from 1 Corinthians 10:13, it says and I quote "Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people, But God keep His promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test; He will give you the strength to endure it and so provide you with a way out," end of quote.

Brothers and sisters, God day to you all.

JOY :

God never left us empty handed. We are not materially wealthy … but our lives are made richer with friends, with brothers and sisters in the BCBP who help me in my journey in faith and prays for me.

In closing, In Psalms 112:5, it says and I quote, "Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affair with justice," end of quote. Ray and I consider ourselves as stewards of our possessions so we always set aside 10% of our meager income. The money accumulated in our tithe wallet is divided to the Christian community where we belong, the GKK and the Church. Tithing is also our way of expressing our gratitude for God's countless blessings!!

What better way to acknowledge the many blessings God has given us is thanking God through our daily attendance in the holy mass.

In problems and trials … we have learned to accept them as part of growth. There is purpose behind every problem. God's plan is good … and He knows what is best for us. And with this mind, I would like to end this sharing with words from scripture and I quote, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus," end of quote, taken from 1 Thesalonians 5:18.

May God bless us all!